Gym scheduling

Lil came into my room the other day and said "Mama, you really need to get back into going to the gym everyday."

I go to the gym 5 days at least every week. I take a couple classes, sometimes just do 30 minutes on the elliptical, but I feel like a failure if I don't shower at the gym.

When I started going to the gym in the fall of 2009, the amount of energy I felt was amazing. I was able to fight off colds better and I really felt the physics maxim of energy breeds energy.

I walked more than 3 miles in a couple hours today on the campaign trail. My jeans don't need to be unfastened to take them off.

But I still look at my body and wonder how to slim it down. I could give up pizza, wine, my beloved Slurpees...but I know that denying myself everything would make me really grumpy.

Where's the fine line?

Trust falls...

Did you ever do acting/drama classes? I had a hard time with the trust fall. I have 2 older brothers and I often played with them in our concrete floor basement. The two most common conversations in that basement were, for me, "You're adopted" and "Trust me, it won't hurt." In the words of today, that last might sound bad, but for me, it meant my brother had learned a new wrestling move & would experiment on me. I knew he wouldn't go too far - the one time I did get injured on his watch, falling from my bike, had scarred him. I trusted him, but was kinda scared too.

Pool parties really frightened me. I can't swim. I didn't figure out until I was 13 how to breath correctly while swimming. Relying on my minimal physical strength, I could make it to the wall. But that was under my control. Going to a pool party opened me up to lots of tricks and craziness where I found myself thrown in a couple of times. Frightening the shit out of me. That feeling of "I'm going to die, I may hit my head, no one cares" made pool parties the least fun activity for me.


Sitting here on my couch watching Miss Marple solving a murder mystery and reading Tom Coale's reflections on today, trust is percolating in my mind. All three cats are curled up with us. That trust from the cats means a lot because animals are excellent judges of character.

Reading Tom's comment, thanking us for campaigning for him, touched a similar nerve. In March, he reminded us that political campaigns are a trust fall - because he cannot do this on his own. That made sense to me so I said to Luke, "Hey, we have to do a bit more." He agreed and now I've got this job as Field Director.

And sometimes it's like getting thrown into the pool. But I've figured out how to swim in the deep end. Still scary sometimes, but I'm learning.

Because Tom is trusting me and that's what pushes me. 

We've had so many amazing people help us. If you've ever been interested in politics, contact me. This is the most fun I've had in a long time.

hocoblogs@@@

Birthday Blessings

My birthday has always been a somewhat ignored day. Being at the beginning of the school year, it was way too early to establish the friendships for inviting friends to a party.

And now, it is the eve of 9/11. I'll never forget driving in somewhat late to work that Tuesday after an amazing birthday dinner.

I always feel down on my birthday. My husband has to work usually as it's corporate tax busy season.

But I'm happy that I sat down with a friend today. I'm happy that I made yummy chicken stirfry for Lil & me. I'm happy that watching America's Got Talent made Lil happy.

I will treasure that.

Happiness is...

There's a happiness challenge going round, and rather than pity myself for not being a cool kid, I'll just do it anyway.

I'm happy for a lot of reasons.

My daughter got her ears pierced, overcoming her anxiety, and chose beautiful blue green flower earrings. With her braces color coordinated, for now, she looks totes adorbs.

She has 2 weeks off from ballet, which I think is good and we all need. Her studio is awesome, but a little break to settle into the new school year is a good idea.

I get to watch Luke play cricket next week. He's jolly good for a beginner!

I'm exploring the political world & meeting really smart, funny, hard-working people. I'm learning a ton & I often encounter new situations. But I'm thinking on my feet pretty well.

I reconnected to one of my favorite professors from Maryland on the campaign trail. He taught me how to say my name...and I use it all the time. It's not kristin like Christian, it's not kir like the cocktail, it's cur like curse. (The last one may be slightly off, but you get the gist.) He hosted a study group where we sat around reading Chaucer in Middle English. So, actually, could be my fave prof outright!

And there's Disney...every morning Derby perches on the counter waiting for me to turn on the faucet. Disney, being a fearless kitten, has become fascinated with water. He tries to catch, he puts his head under the sink and makes a nuisance of himself to me & Derby. So Beckham has decided to join as well, so now I've got 3 cats on a double sink counter while I'm brushing my teeth. Which was my excuse to the hygienist today as to why I don't brush really well!

I miss you Mork

I am not sure what to feel right now.

Do you know suicide? I know the attempt. Have you walked into your house & encountered it?

Please reach out to people & check on them.

http://www.nbcnews.com/storyline/robin-williams-death/uso-robin-williams-death-he-will-be-sorely-missed-n178256

Reflections on the Year

This morning, I thought I would take the 9:30 studio cycling class at the gym, but that I might tell the instructor that I might leave early. I would give myself an out. My foot is really hurting so I thought maybe I'd only do a half hour. I didn't work out yesterday, which is pretty rare for a Monday. My mom had asked me to go to Havre de Grace with her as she's quite busy over the next few weeks at work. Since I want to maintain my "Favorite Daughter" status, you know what I chose. The approximately three hour roundtrip ride had made my legs hurt a bit and I said to myself, even 30 minutes would be fine.

A year ago, I was slowly but surely recovering from sinus surgery. The sinuses themselves did not take so long to recover, it was the body. My doctor had told me nothing strenuous for 2 weeks post-op. My optimistic perspective was Oh well, Luke'll have to vacuum. (Which he often does anyway!)

Once those two weeks passed, my sinuses felt better and clearer and I went weeks without a cold setting in. Usually I had a sinus infection every month. Surgery was successful!

However, lethargy still sat heavy on my shoulders. The doctor had said the trauma to the body as well as the anesthesia required for such a long surgery would take a while to dissipate. And it did. Apparently redheads (although my hair is browner now) require more anesthesia...when I woke up in recovery, the nurse was laughing at me because of my desire to fight. He joked around with Luke about how they'd had to give me more anesthesia before starting the surgery.

So I ended up being at my heaviest, some of which I noted here. I still have a ton to lose, but I'm feeling better.

This weekend, I walked a couple of miles up and down and all around hilly Elkridge for my friend....you guessed it...Tom Coale. I stood for an hour at an awesome Hocoblogs party hosted by Secolari, albeit in comfy shoes, and realized my feet didn't hurt. Even our trip to Europe went better than I expected. Jet lag didn't bother me and we made the most of our time.

Luke said to me that a year has made a huge difference in me. I've been more confident, been more persistent, bypassed my pain and have gained stamina. Other friends have noticed that too - that there's been something different. It hasn't just been one thing like exercise, nutrition or a sense of purpose. Rather, it's been all of that.

So I stayed for the whole spin class. I even matched my personal best of a couple weeks ago. My best probably pales in comparison to other class members. For 6 months in, though, with a head injury to boot (I feel I should say to hat, instead), I know I'm improving. My flat road resistance is usually set at 6; I started out at 1 or 2. Spinning is a useful addition to my usual Body Pump and Body Vive classes. I know I'm still pretty pathetic, but I'm less pathetic and more resilient than I have ever been.

And when I am lazy, hanging out on my couch, I'm blaming Baby Disney! He's almost five pounds now...I don't want to hyperextend my wrist, right??

Cat-harsis

Last night, when we couldn't find our kitten Disney, I sat in shock. How had we lost our 3 weeks-new-to-us 15 week old kitten? We searched every room. Lil asked us to tell her when we found him and don't worry about waking her. After half an hour or so, I noticed that she had shut her door. I felt like she was giving up and if she was, I was having a hard time maintaining hope.

Luke & I walked around the neighborhood, shaking a bag of cat food. We looked under cars. I sent emails to neighbors, warning them to look under their cars in the morning.

I was mentally & physically exhausted.

When Lil heard my alarm go off, she came upstairs with Disney in her arms. "Daddy left us a note!" When he was preparing to look for Disney before leaving for work, he saw Disney walking around by the big cats' food bowl. (It's very cute - Disney puts his paw in the bowl while he's eating.)

Still no idea where the heck he was hiding. Luke is thinking about putting a GPS on him. Which is ironic, because when I took him to the vet for his vaccine booster, the tech asked me about his microchip. And I scoffed and said to myself, "C'mon, it's a cat."

I held in my tears last night. As I have been doing for a while. I've been feeling like crying for a few weeks. I almost let loose last week after I presented at the Columbia Association meeting for Inner Arbor.

I feel sad. I feel lonely. I don't feel great physically. I felt angry. I am scared. So I cried. I could probably use a few more minutes.

But I cried and let it some of it out. And then the kitties & Luke & Lil made me laugh. Catharsis - it's OK. Once I say my problem or scream in pain, like stubbing my toe, I feel so much better. It's the trapping & the repression that really hurts me.