Tuesday, September 29, 2015

Shh, the baby's sleeping

Last night, I started to shush Lil. It was 9:30 and we were reading our books on the couch in the living room.

Luke was watching something in the family room, but he has his headphones. It's been our little tradition that Lil & I read on the couch before bedtime. I enjoy it as Lil tells me snippets from her day or reads me something from her book.

Something caused her to laugh and I shushed her. An instinctual reaction of Well, it's dark and Lil is upstairs sleeping so keep your voices down. But she's not, because she's in middle school and has inherited my night owl genes. Luckily, she has not gotten my Olympic ability for sleeping and gets up easily in the morning.

It just felt surreal. Where have the past 11 years gone? What will it feel like when she isn't here?

Regardless of those answers, it doesn't matter. We just have to enjoy everyday we have with each other. Wishing for her cute little baby feet means I'm not focused on the present. Nostalgia is not always a productive place.

But please do be quiet, Baby Disney is sleeping on his back next to me and from the jerks of his paws, I think he's dreaming of chasing critters.

Thursday, September 10, 2015

Back-to-school worries

This will be more of a purr, than a meow. A happy, contented purr. I write this as Disney falls down to sit down next to me.

Last night, Luke & I attended the Wilde Lake back-to-school night. As I left the building, I had tears in my eyes.

Lil had come home from her first day a couple of weeks ago, saying how awesome middle school is and how awesome her teachers are.

After last night, I agree. A bunch of us from the elementary school chatted after meeting the fifth teacher. "They have so much energy." "It's just as great as Running Brook." "They are all such characters!"

I had thought about not going...Tuesday had been a very long day and I couldn't fall asleep until after 2 so I was struggling after 4-5 hours of sleep. I really, really, really need seven. I figured it would be another weird schedule with BTS. But I thought about the PTSA meeting the night before and wanting to see the awesome teachers.

In all honesty, I did not meet her health and French teachers. But her chorus, geography, science, math and English teachers were AMAAAAZZZZING.

So my tears were mostly of happiness, but there was a twinkle of sadness. That some people in this county say mean things about this school. But it was the same way at Running Brook and I saw through that. It's all about parental involvement and I'm going to try to be and stay involved during our three years at Wilde Lake.

But I am taking tonight off from any community involvement. It's my birthday!

Thursday, September 3, 2015

Escaping Reality

Becoming a mother changes one's outlook on life. There were times during the Iraq War that I saw pictures of children and felt immediately dizzy with grief at what was happening around them. And disgust at my relief that my daughter was not there.

In the days following 9/11, two co-workers of mine got into a disagreement. One, a middle-aged African-American woman, and the other, a Syrian refugee/immigrant married to a Palestinian woman with family still there. They disagreed on which was worse, the violence of our American cities that disproportionately affect the black community or living with the daily threat of religious extremists blowing up buses in Israel. I just sat back and listened to two persecuted people who have lived lives I cannot imagine.

I think they were both right. I dislike my reluctance to come down on either side because I can see both points. Nobody should live in fear of losing their life, wherever they live.

This morning's Washington Post had the second scene of a photo I saw yesterday. A Turkish police officer is shown approaching the surf. Where a little boy lies face down, arms at his side in the shallow waves. How often have I seen my daughter like this, fast asleep? But he is not going to wake when the officer touches him.

The photo they printed is less disturbing and I disagree with their editorial decision. Yes, there are people who read the paper over their morning coffee and they don't want their children to see something like that.They'll probably still get pushback over the "gentler" photo of the officer carrying the tiny child. The refugees living that life don't have a choice over hiding their reality.

Apart from Piers Morgan, who wrote a scathing column this morning, hardly anybody in my Twitter feed was talking about this crisis. Instead, the majority of my feed, even politicos that usually talk about Trump, are talking about Deflate-Gate and Tom Brady. For a while, the Post had Brady on the left and a picture of refugees being manhandled. That story is the third most read as of 1:40 PM today. The refugees? Didn't make the top five cut.

Listen, I like football. And football does bring Americans together in many ways. But talking about Tom Brady's footballs for hours on end and not just on ESPN makes me sad.