That dash is a minus.
I am pretty laidback when it comes to traveling. Ask my stepfather. When I traveled for business, domestically, I'd arrive an hour before departure...in the parking lot. International, maybe an hour and a half?
I'd be lying if I said there'd never been a freakout moment of being late. The time we left our garment bag on the parking lot shuttle...I was standing in the security line while Luke chased it down. Lil was a toddler - maybe 3? I envisioned myself flying to Puerto Rico all alone with my daughter (BWI only had one flight per day) and getting on a seven day cruise, playing the slots with one hand and holding Lil's hand with the other. (Joking - kids, not allowed in casinos. Serious - real problem on ships that depart Puerto Rico.) Alas, Luke jumped into the airplane as they were closing the door.
"You made it! Where's the garment bag?"
"Couldn't get it."
Tears.
"K, you're looking at this the wrong way. When we get to Puerto Rico, we'll go shopping. I'll rent a tux on board the ship. This is an opportunity."
Hmm. We went to Macy's, I had coupons and I found cheap, but pretty new dresses. Score!
Three weeks ago, I was not that placid. For a few hours, I was in a plane flying to Seattle, Luke was in New York and Lil was at school. In the aftermath of the Amtrak tragedy, as we discussed plans for backup, he was very relaxed.
"If I'm late or there's a problem, I'll call your parents. We'll let them know it's a possibility."
"Great idea. Except that I'm going to be WITH my parents on the PLANE."
"Oh, right."
I relived this today when I ran into a friend at the gym and she asked how everything had went.
"Kinda badly, but he didn't tell me until we met for lunch in Vancouver before getting on the ship."
Their puddle jumper got pulled for maintenance AFTER going from Baltimore to Newark and they had seconds to spare at Toronto for the connection and went to the wrong hotel. I am SO glad I did not know any of this.
But they made it and we had an awesome Alaskan cruise...partly because of the odd weather they're having...but that's another discussion. :)
Showing posts with label anxiety. Show all posts
Showing posts with label anxiety. Show all posts
Wednesday, June 10, 2015
Sunday, October 5, 2014
Trust falls...
Did you ever do acting/drama classes? I had a hard time with the trust fall. I have 2 older brothers and I often played with them in our concrete floor basement. The two most common conversations in that basement were, for me, "You're adopted" and "Trust me, it won't hurt." In the words of today, that last might sound bad, but for me, it meant my brother had learned a new wrestling move & would experiment on me. I knew he wouldn't go too far - the one time I did get injured on his watch, falling from my bike, had scarred him. I trusted him, but was kinda scared too.
Pool parties really frightened me. I can't swim. I didn't figure out until I was 13 how to breath correctly while swimming. Relying on my minimal physical strength, I could make it to the wall. But that was under my control. Going to a pool party opened me up to lots of tricks and craziness where I found myself thrown in a couple of times. Frightening the shit out of me. That feeling of "I'm going to die, I may hit my head, no one cares" made pool parties the least fun activity for me.
Sitting here on my couch watching Miss Marple solving a murder mystery and reading Tom Coale's reflections on today, trust is percolating in my mind. All three cats are curled up with us. That trust from the cats means a lot because animals are excellent judges of character.
Reading Tom's comment, thanking us for campaigning for him, touched a similar nerve. In March, he reminded us that political campaigns are a trust fall - because he cannot do this on his own. That made sense to me so I said to Luke, "Hey, we have to do a bit more." He agreed and now I've got this job as Field Director.
And sometimes it's like getting thrown into the pool. But I've figured out how to swim in the deep end. Still scary sometimes, but I'm learning.
hocoblogs@@@
Pool parties really frightened me. I can't swim. I didn't figure out until I was 13 how to breath correctly while swimming. Relying on my minimal physical strength, I could make it to the wall. But that was under my control. Going to a pool party opened me up to lots of tricks and craziness where I found myself thrown in a couple of times. Frightening the shit out of me. That feeling of "I'm going to die, I may hit my head, no one cares" made pool parties the least fun activity for me.
Sitting here on my couch watching Miss Marple solving a murder mystery and reading Tom Coale's reflections on today, trust is percolating in my mind. All three cats are curled up with us. That trust from the cats means a lot because animals are excellent judges of character.
Reading Tom's comment, thanking us for campaigning for him, touched a similar nerve. In March, he reminded us that political campaigns are a trust fall - because he cannot do this on his own. That made sense to me so I said to Luke, "Hey, we have to do a bit more." He agreed and now I've got this job as Field Director.
And sometimes it's like getting thrown into the pool. But I've figured out how to swim in the deep end. Still scary sometimes, but I'm learning.
Because Tom is trusting me and that's what pushes me.
We've had so many amazing people help us. If you've ever been interested in politics, contact me. This is the most fun I've had in a long time.
hocoblogs@@@
Wednesday, February 5, 2014
Columbia's Main Street
My mall is sad.
There is tons of parking available most nights of the week.
It's easy to get a seat at popular restaurants with little wait.
Stores are easy to navigate.
There's no line at the carousel...because it's not operating.
This is the state of affairs 10 days after a seemingly unhappy young man shattered the bubble that we Columbians inhabit. The belief that we lived in a friendly, happy utopia where most crime was petty theft and "didn't happen to us." We are the community of "Choose Civility." (One twit on Twitter claimed "Does a possible love triangle gone wrong do enough damage to the choose civility brand that HoCo officials feel denial is the right approach?" I won't link to that because I'm disgusted by his feed.)
But it did happen. It seems random, although we'd feel better if it was explainable. The randomness, though, should not make us stop living life.
I was struck by this because when I arrived at one of the mall restaurants, I had my choice of tables. The group of 20-somethings with the loud, obnoxious guy who knows something about everything and pontificates on it continually wasn't there for their usual happy hour. There were 2 bartenders when I arrived and 1 was cut by 6:30. There were 2 servers when I arrived and again, 1 was cut by 6:30. A large restaurant was operating with 1 bartender and 1 server and a manager. Because no one was coming in. The manager decided on which bartender to keep because his rent is due. She decided on which server to keep because her car payment is due. The manager has been making decisions like that for the last 9 days. Because no one is coming in.
And this is for folks who weren't there that day and didn't witness or experience the terror and fear - because that is going to take time.
Please - come to Columbia Mall. Have lunch at Panera, see a movie, visit the new Athleta store. Meet friends for happy hour at Champps. Play trivia at Uno's. SPEND MONEY - support college kids who are working their way through school, support single moms who have a second job, support people who are working HARD and may lose their jobs if the situation doesn't improve.
Please - come to the mall.
#HoCoBlogs
There is tons of parking available most nights of the week.
It's easy to get a seat at popular restaurants with little wait.
Stores are easy to navigate.
There's no line at the carousel...because it's not operating.
This is the state of affairs 10 days after a seemingly unhappy young man shattered the bubble that we Columbians inhabit. The belief that we lived in a friendly, happy utopia where most crime was petty theft and "didn't happen to us." We are the community of "Choose Civility." (One twit on Twitter claimed "Does a possible love triangle gone wrong do enough damage to the choose civility brand that HoCo officials feel denial is the right approach?" I won't link to that because I'm disgusted by his feed.)
But it did happen. It seems random, although we'd feel better if it was explainable. The randomness, though, should not make us stop living life.
I was struck by this because when I arrived at one of the mall restaurants, I had my choice of tables. The group of 20-somethings with the loud, obnoxious guy who knows something about everything and pontificates on it continually wasn't there for their usual happy hour. There were 2 bartenders when I arrived and 1 was cut by 6:30. There were 2 servers when I arrived and again, 1 was cut by 6:30. A large restaurant was operating with 1 bartender and 1 server and a manager. Because no one was coming in. The manager decided on which bartender to keep because his rent is due. She decided on which server to keep because her car payment is due. The manager has been making decisions like that for the last 9 days. Because no one is coming in.
And this is for folks who weren't there that day and didn't witness or experience the terror and fear - because that is going to take time.
Please - come to Columbia Mall. Have lunch at Panera, see a movie, visit the new Athleta store. Meet friends for happy hour at Champps. Play trivia at Uno's. SPEND MONEY - support college kids who are working their way through school, support single moms who have a second job, support people who are working HARD and may lose their jobs if the situation doesn't improve.
Please - come to the mall.
#HoCoBlogs
Monday, January 27, 2014
Twinges
As I laid awake earlier this morning, I debated whether to go down to the Mall in Columbia. I had viewed the site on Saturday as it was closed to the public while they evacuated hundreds of shoppers & workers from the mall. On this eerie, gray day, the buses they brought to shuttle people were unnervingly bright & cheery. Not what one associates with a seemingly random shooting at a busy mall.
On Saturday when the mall was closed, seemingly random things occurred to me. I need to deposit some checks at the bank there. I really need gloves because this damn polar vortex is returning. My husband had planned to work at his Columbia office both days this weekend and when he went into work on Sunday, I was a little nervous. He said he didn't notice much although when I went to drop something off at his car, the mall security questioned me. There were police cars in front of his building as it was the pick-up spot for items left in the common area. We'd usually pop into Uno for lunch or vulture for bar spots at Cheesecake Factory. I usually drive on the mall loop to come home (it also gives me a chance to get my annoyance fix by honking at drivers who stop at the sign that says "Incoming traffic has right-of-way"). The mall is part of my front yard so to speak as I've noted before.
On Saturday when the mall was closed, seemingly random things occurred to me. I need to deposit some checks at the bank there. I really need gloves because this damn polar vortex is returning. My husband had planned to work at his Columbia office both days this weekend and when he went into work on Sunday, I was a little nervous. He said he didn't notice much although when I went to drop something off at his car, the mall security questioned me. There were police cars in front of his building as it was the pick-up spot for items left in the common area. We'd usually pop into Uno for lunch or vulture for bar spots at Cheesecake Factory. I usually drive on the mall loop to come home (it also gives me a chance to get my annoyance fix by honking at drivers who stop at the sign that says "Incoming traffic has right-of-way"). The mall is part of my front yard so to speak as I've noted before.
Today, however, the mall reopened. There were ceremonies to commemorate the victims of this senseless, still unexplained tragedy. I went down there to check it out, but I didn't get out of my car. I deposited my check and returned home. I had a twinge of fear and of schadenfreude & I shouldn't/couldn't be there.
But for me, once I say something (or blog, I guess), it helps me to move on. Now that this catharsis is done, I'm going to visit my friends who work at the mall and support Columbia & Howard County.
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