Twinges

As I laid awake earlier this morning, I debated whether to go down to the Mall in Columbia. I had viewed the site on Saturday as it was closed to the public while they evacuated hundreds of shoppers & workers from the mall. On this eerie, gray day, the buses they brought to shuttle people were unnervingly bright & cheery. Not what one associates with a seemingly random shooting at a busy mall.

On Saturday when the mall was closed, seemingly random things occurred to me. I need to deposit some checks at the bank there. I really need gloves because this damn polar vortex is returning. My husband had planned to work at his Columbia office both days this weekend and when he went into work on Sunday, I was a little nervous. He said he didn't notice much although when I went to drop something off at his car, the mall security questioned me. There were police cars in front of his building as it was the pick-up spot for items left in the common area. We'd usually pop into Uno for lunch or vulture for bar spots at Cheesecake Factory. I usually drive on the mall loop to come home (it also gives me a chance to get my annoyance fix by honking at drivers who stop at the sign that says "Incoming traffic has right-of-way").  The mall is part of my front yard so to speak as I've noted before.

Today, however, the mall reopened. There were ceremonies to commemorate the victims of this senseless, still unexplained tragedy. I went down there to check it out, but I didn't get out of my car. I deposited my check and returned home. I had a twinge of fear and of schadenfreude & I shouldn't/couldn't be there.

But for me, once I say something (or blog, I guess), it helps me to move on. Now that this catharsis is done, I'm going to visit my friends who work at the mall and support Columbia & Howard County.

Christmas Vacation Vegging

A friend’s Facebook posting yesterday made me feel guilty for what I’ve allowed my almost 10 year old to do a lot this vacation. Veg. Watch TV. 5 episodes of ANT Farm in a row in one morning. Headphones on watching Austin & Ally on her new iPod. We gave her the Disney Infinity Xbox game and my hubby & I played with her on that a little bit over the past few days. Oh, and Facetime with her oldest friend. (They gave each other tours of their houses…a little odd since they’ve been to each other’s house.)

But…

Ever since she was born, I’ve treated her as a person, not as a child. Meaning that people have different needs at different times. When she was an infant, we specifically messed with her schedule. The thing is, life doesn’t always happen as scheduled and learning how to adapt is important to my husband and me. Sometimes there's an accident closing down 95 and you have dinner an hour late. Stuff happens and the ability to adapt quickly to the situation is crucial. I also want her to say yes to opportunities that are outside her comfort zone. She has learned well and when confronted with a change of plans (whether from us or others), she acts just like my husband - a couple minutes to ruminate and she's on board. 

We started traveling with her at age 4 months - her first cruise on Royal Caribbean's Grandeur of the Seas out of Baltimore. (Don't tell my Papa Bill - he thinks we've only been on 1 cruise without him...) She loves to travel and adjusts quickly to new challenges. We see so many parents that lock themselves in their house once the baby is born...that's not us.

For one thing...

Luke & I worked a lot. He moreso than I, so the demands of his schedule made me step back from my career. Although I don’t do it anymore, I worked 60 hours/week many times in my career. Granted, I’m an accountant and it’s not like I was saving lives in an emergency room. But I did have to be “on” and when I got free time, I enjoyed it. I needed down time. I needed to watch TV and distract myself. But we definitely had a "Work Hard, Play Hard" philosophy. 

Lil has worked hard for the past few months. She performs with Ballet Mobile, a non-profit classic ballet troupe that visits retirement homes and rehab centers to lighten the residents’ hearts. She practices for many hours each week. At school, she tries to help out teachers and other students. Luckily, she completes her homework quickly. But she’s doing a lot of above-grade level work and there’s a lot of pressure at school and she places a lot of pressure on herself to perform well. 

And sometimes we contribute to that...So…

I want her to chill out. She had one performance during the break, but no practices/classes. (Although she dances everyday regardless of venue…) But I wanted her to play with her new Christmas gifts and enjoy the lack of schedule. She embraced vacation – few expectations of her, apart from putting her breakfast bowl in the dishwasher. She got her first pedicure. She did crafty stuff like her rainbow loom. But she did watch a LOT of TV & worked on her YouTube search abilities for Disney Tween content. She danced to the music on the TV, set up little forts on the floor and the best was her sweet giggles when she laughed.

Today was a little different. We were cleaning the house, putting away laundry, preparing dinner and we only played 2 games of Clue with her. She had wanted to finish the gingerbread house and play Apples to Apples with us. When I told her it was time to finish her Facetime chat, she responded, “It’s only because you haven’t been playing with me.”

Which means…

Christmas vacation is over! (But possibly to be followed by a snow day on Friday!)

Be vewy, vewy quiet, I'm hunting resolvers

The instructor of my gym class mentioned how the gym will be crowded in a few days. She said she wished we could wear pins that marked us as regular/active gym members. Ah, yes, it's time for New Year's Resolutions, an ancient tradition to Roman times. When we try to take back our self-control by swearing we'll eat better, exercise more, drink less and be nicer!

The "resolvers," as I refer to the gym members who realize they do in fact belong to a gym, will come in search of thinner thighs and toned abs on January 1 (after their hangover is almost over). They will attempt to lift the 250 lbs they could back in college (never mind that college was 20 years ago).  They'll stand in front of the Package Plan Plus room trying to punch random numbers to unlock the door. The treadmill "stop" buttons might get a few more uses as people realize they cannot run that fast anymore. People will hop on equipment they have no idea how to operate and will sit looking confused until they finally give up or brave asking one of us regulars concentrating on our Kindles. Staff will have to get out their boltcutters to remove locks left on for days on end on lockers. People will take showers without realizing there are no towels available in that area. Worst of all, the parking lot will be a mess. Which leads to my resolution - to be more patient. Because 80% of the American population gives up within two months - I can wait it out!

Crazy things that happened today

While putting away the laundry today, I got distracted by my old jewelry box. I lost a ring a few years ago and still believe it must be lovingly stored. While I didn't find the ring, I did smell that lovely scent of my jewelry box. The musty, old velvet (fake), maple (?) odor arose and I remembered going through my mom's jewelry box. I would try on her necklaces, bracelets and look at the broken pieces that she kept in hopes of later repair. I found my grandmother's emerald bracelet today. I hadn't looked there for a couple of years & finding this was like the lost treasure. My heart raced - because I hadn't shared it with Lil. This is her namesake, Annunciata's, bracelet. It's at least 70 years old. Annunciata wore it. My mom wore it. I wear it. Lil will too. And when she realized who it belonged to, her eyes widened and understood that connection. My heart broke and repaired simultaneously.

The other amazing thing was that my cat Chippa curled up next to me. She was originally a feral rescue although the woman said she was part of a litter from an inside gal who escaped one night & met a nice tomcat. She started out as a fun-loving cat - she'd reach out for anything moving on a TV or monitor and watched the printer the second it started prepping the print job. But something happened to scare her 10 or so years ago & only in the last year has she been slightly ready to be close to us. And tonight, she curled up.

I have always found my cats to be more cuddly when it gets cold. It was 28 when I parked my car at Iron Bridge and that doesn't include wind chill. When I put Annunciata's bracelet on today, it was so cold. But I looked at it & said, emeralds get warm. And it has.

May those who seem cool become warm.

hocoblogs@@@

Columbia Town Center development

Recently, someone asked me if I was OK with the development going on in my "front yard" and whether I "knew" about it.

I often have this conversation with people when I tell them I live outside of the Cheesecake Factory (no, I'm not homeless as one woman assumed one day at the gym).  We live in the center of the neighborhood, but we hear the trash pickup at Cheesecake sometimes in the morning, which is pretty loud at 5 AM. Living close to the hospital and Banneker fire station, helicopters flying low and fire engines racing by are common occurrences in our life. I used to tell my cat Derby that the police were coming for him, but I ceased doing that when our daughter was a couple years old. (I had to put our cat Mischka to sleep when Lil was 3, so I didn't want to unnecessarily freak her out. Now that she's 9, I do tell our cat Beckham this, because I secretly hope he will be imprisoned. He gave me tetanus when he was a kitten.)

Our family lives in a somewhat urban area - no, it's not downtown Baltimore and drunks don't regularly knock on our door and I've only heard gunshots once (our drug dealer neighbor, who got foreclosed on eventually). But there is crime: broken basement windows & such petty crime. I am nervous to walk home from the mall sometimes. A lot of people walk by my house on their way to the mall & toss trash in my postage stamp yard. A very nice neighbor who walks her dog by my house sometimes picks up that trash. It's not quiet suburban living by any stretch.

My husband & I moved to this neighborhood in 2003 when our particular development was about halfway done. We were specifically attracted by promised growth - construction of the Cheesecake Factory happened in 2004 (and we were there opening day) and amorphous plans for the parcels across from our development.

Finally, plans were approved and finalized last year and construction started early this year. The first building is the Metropolitan Columbia. There will be retail on the first floor with apartments above. They may eventually turn into condos, but they will be rentals at first. This may not attract families as Columbia Compass and The 53 espouse. But here's my hope, it will bring younger people to Columbia, who become interested in the cool, fun atmosphere in Town Center, like Merriweather Post, enjoying the additions to the mall and watching movies at the Lakefront on a warm summer eve. Having dinner at Clyde's or the new Cindy Wolf restaurant, enjoying the beauty of Lake Kittamaqundi, while listening to live music during the summer are all downtown Columbia treats. And maybe spending more time at Symphony Woods than just the annual Wine in the Woods. And maybe decide they'd like to start a family here.

So, yes, I know about the development and I've been excited for YEARS. Yes, traffic will get worse, but our community - what's really important - will get a jumpstart.

hocoblogs@@@

Summertime in September

I am used to my birthday being part of a lovely time of year - the wind-down of summer, the cooler mornings, the lower humidity. A time when the promise of a new school year provided hopes & excitement of new challenges & opportunities when a new schedule circumscribed my life & relieved the boredom of the summer. The morning after my birthday, however, has been marred by the niggling fear I get - wondering what might happen on 9/11. In 2003, I flew on that day overseas and was mightily relieved to step off the plane safely and 6 weeks pregnant. I have a cold right now so I took a nap after waving goodbye to Lil at the bus stop. When I awoke & checked the news, I was glad to see it was just a beautiful day in suburban DC, a place I grew up (I think my brothers might have inculcated this fear) knowing was a target for the Soviets.

Show a little patience today, give an extra hug to loved ones, take a minute to reach out. Don't complain about something. Last night, there was an event clogging up the parking lot at the Howard County Center for the Arts  (where Lil takes ballet) called No Boundaries. The program is a weekly musical theatre class for special needs/intellectually disabled people in their 20s/30s. As I tried to rush in to drop off Lil's dinner, frustrated by the parking & worried about the fact I didn't have my checkbook to pay for ballet, I realized I had to chill out. In some cases, attendees were on crutches, some didn't obey the social courtesies of holding the door open or letting the first person to reach the door to go in first. One parent gently scolded her daughter "Addy, wait! Don't push ahead!" (name changed). Addy didn't acknowledge, look back or change her behavior. Addy's mother was still barely in the building as Addy pushed her way into the theatre. Another parent said, "I guess she's just so excited for this class." While the mother still seemed chagrined & slightly annoyed, I found comfort in that positive note.

As a hasty, critical, judgmental person, I'm going to smile if & when I see Addy throughout the fall rushing into the theatre.

hocoblogs@@@

Signs - Part Duh

As school begins momentarily, I have a request - Parents, please be an example for your children. Teach them about looking at the world around them. Teach them about signs.

As I mentioned in an earlier post, it's appalling how drivers disregard signs. (Yes, I do speed.) Stopping when there aren't any stop signs, going through stop signs that are there, etc.

Drivers need to obey signs. However, non-drivers, i.e. walkers & cyclists need to obey them as well.

A young person was injured by my house this month while biking across the street on a Don't Walk signal.

I used to ride my bike across the railroad tracks in Gaithersburg during rush hour. My best friend & I didn't tell our parents (well, I told my mom a few weeks ago). The reason why we didn't is that she & I knew we were in the wrong. That we were doing something dangerous. We took risks, but we tried to time the light & obviously we heard the train signals. If we had been injured, both of us would have taken the punishment of our parents & admitted our guilt & culpability in our injury. We knew we were being daredevils. I'd have whined a little, but we knew.

This week, I have seen 3 instances of poor decisions on Columbia roadways that scare the crap out of me. Two people, who looked older than me, jaywalked on Harper's Farm by the Athletic Club. The car next to me stopped, despite having the green light. I honked, not a surprise, and these people gave me the finger. I was not the one violating the traffic laws.

Coming down Columbia Rd. by 7-11 is a very scary thing. People constantly cross there - despite there being a pedestrian bridge! There's a hill & a curve. Why do people do this?

hocoblogs@@@