Saturday, December 28, 2013

Be vewy, vewy quiet, I'm hunting resolvers

The instructor of my gym class mentioned how the gym will be crowded in a few days. She said she wished we could wear pins that marked us as regular/active gym members. Ah, yes, it's time for New Year's Resolutions, an ancient tradition to Roman times. When we try to take back our self-control by swearing we'll eat better, exercise more, drink less and be nicer!

The "resolvers," as I refer to the gym members who realize they do in fact belong to a gym, will come in search of thinner thighs and toned abs on January 1 (after their hangover is almost over). They will attempt to lift the 250 lbs they could back in college (never mind that college was 20 years ago).  They'll stand in front of the Package Plan Plus room trying to punch random numbers to unlock the door. The treadmill "stop" buttons might get a few more uses as people realize they cannot run that fast anymore. People will hop on equipment they have no idea how to operate and will sit looking confused until they finally give up or brave asking one of us regulars concentrating on our Kindles. Staff will have to get out their boltcutters to remove locks left on for days on end on lockers. People will take showers without realizing there are no towels available in that area. Worst of all, the parking lot will be a mess. Which leads to my resolution - to be more patient. Because 80% of the American population gives up within two months - I can wait it out!

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