Dear Yelp Reviewer from a fellow diner

I believe we were the family that was planning our vacation to Europe recently that caused you to leave for “Chinese down the road.”

Yes, we had our iPads out & our guidebooks out. We were getting together with my parents & discussing what they’d like to do. And we were investigating side trips.

Have you never gone to a business lunch or dinner? When you discussed strategy for an acquisition? When you discussed goals for the year? Have you gone out for dinner or drinks with a friend who just became single? Or had a friend thinking about divorce after her hubby cheated on her? Or celebrated a promotion for a friend who worked so hard? Have you ever

sat next to a birthday party?

Vacation planning is not allowed? I’m sorry that we did not confine ourselves to the library to do so. (Actually I’m not sorry.) Instead, we met up at our favorite wine bar and the talk turned to our upcoming trip that is still open-ended. And yes, we’re so excited that we checked our phone/tablets to answer questions & plan our routes.

Maybe you should type up a list of topics that are acceptable to you and hand them out to your nearby seatmates.

But this begs the question – why were you caught up in our conversation? Could you not converse on topics you found interesting with your party?

From my recollection, though, you were upset to be sat at the common table and you hadn’t reserved in advance enough to get a regular table.

We were glad you left, because another party came. And they embraced the friendliness of the common table.

A Tail of Two Kitties

Chippa - Sept 2013

Chippa doesn't look like this anymore. In the last few weeks, she has lost what seems like half her body weight. She was more than 13 lbs at her heaviest. She's always had short legs and had a big tummy so she had a Corgi like stature. It's rather hard to tell in this picture but she's a beautiful black & brown tabby. And we did not refer to her as fat, but "phat." 

We rescued a cute little male kitten from a feral rescue group in 2000. This kitten was not feral, though; the domestic mom had a fun night out and returned preggers. We liked the colors and he was pretty playful. We thought he'd be a good addition to my 2 year old Mischka's social life (not THAT social, you cheeky monkey!). Mischka was my first own-my-own cat and we thought she needed a pal. In general, I like male cats & I grew up with 2 male tabbies and was looking for that kind of cat.

The feral rescue group didn't offer spay/neutering services, so we dropped Chipwich (so named because of the chocolate chips on his tummy) off at Dunloggin to be neutered a few days later. For some reason, we were both at home - maybe a holiday, I can't remember...and the phone rang and it was the vet tech. 

Press pause for a second - Luke's college roommate had just gotten a dog & she didn't make it through the spaying surgery. 

I listen for a moment and say, "What? Really? Oh, yes, go ahead." I hang up & Luke is nearly jumping on me wanting to know what the call was about. "The vet just wanted to know if because it's a girl, we wanted to go ahead with spaying her." So Chipwich became Chippawich and since that sounded dumb, it just became Chippa. 

Chippa was the MOST fun kitten. At the time, we had a huge computer monitor and we played Roller Coaster Tycoon. Chippa would hop up on the desk & bat at the moving roller coasters on the screen. It was super cute. When the printer would rev up, she would run to it and swipe her little striped paw at the feeder. She had a big green top with a swinging catnip toy and she would drag it upstairs and downstairs. It was fun to see where it landed.

One night when we were doing dishes, Luke was making bubbles come out of the dish detergent bubble and she was trying to catch the bubbles. At one point, however, he was a little too gung-ho with the detergent and she got a huge dollop of the soap on her fur. 

Rubbing her off with a wet paper towel was clearly not going to get rid of the soap. So up we went to the bathtub for her first (and only) bath.

Bit by bit, she became more nervous...she hid more.  Luke thinks it was the introduction of this guy:

It became a 2 person job to take her to the vet. We have developed strategies over the past few years to trap her for her annual vet visit.

Six months ago, she started to approach us again. To hop up next to us on the couch and demand head-rubbings, to not run away if you pet her in her safe spot.

And I noticed that her eyes weren't dilating for a while. They started to again & I thought everything was OK.

But then she came to me one day (in the bathroom - we assume she feels safe there) and her body freaked me out. It had changed - her chest was swollen and her back was thin. Like all her weight had moved into the front of the body. She's been having hairballs and she used to eat plastic so we were used to her periodically wheezing & vomiting.

I picked her up a couple of times and emailed Luke - Chippa's dying. When he read it, he said "Sorry I can't be there." I replied "I'm having a glass of wine at the Bridge. She's your cat."

I don't know what the timeline is for Chippa, OUR Chippa. The Chippa that used to look at us with Dowager Countess Grantham sneers if she heard Lil cry. The Chippa that has the most beautiful coat that feels like satin and I mistake for the Roomba sometimes. The Chippa who 2 months ago watched something on TV and was following it with her head and contemplating batting the moving item on the screen.

We've prepared Lil for the imminent possibility...she vaguely remembers when we had to do the deed for Mischka. But I will treasure the last few months that she's rejoined the family.

 

My dirty little secret

I'm a little ashamed to admit this: I don't always walk to the Mall.

Sometimes it's because I'm returning from someplace like dropping Lil off at ballet, which is based at the Howard County Center for the Arts in Ellicott City. (Even if they move to Long Reach, which I hope they do, that's still on the other side of town, and I don't know if Ballet Mobile would go with them, which I hope they would.)

But sometimes, I'm not returning. I'm driving from my house to the mall. There are a few reasons for this:



Sometimes it looks like this:



Or it's raining or really cold...

So yes, if I'm planning on doing major shopping, I will drive so I don't have to walk up the hill with all my packages. Sometimes, when it's really cold, I can't breathe because of my asthma. (Have you seen those Symbicort ads where the person doesn't acknowledge their asthma is a problem? That's me to a T. And my Symbicort makes me feel a little jittery.)

We do walk down there a lot. Luke has even been known to purchase furniture and borrow a dolly to push it up to the house.

But we definitely don't walk down to the Lakefront to Clyde's very often. And if we do shop a little at Whole Foods when it opens later this year, which is questionable because it's so expensive, I'm going to drive.

My British chum Claire over at UK Desperate Housewife has noted that one of the differences between the UK & the US is that we drive EVERYWHERE. Buses are for people that can't afford cars. (Not that I agree with that exactly, but the Howard County government study below says that essentially.) I love driving my car...I listen to books on tape and I love being in control. And my car doubles as another branch of the Howard County Library...

But I am looking forward to the Columbia Town Center development because of one item in particular. The plan mentions "multi-modal transportation," which seems to include a downtown circulator. When this comes to fruition, I will commit to using it!

#HoCoBlogs

Columbia's Main Street

My mall is sad.

There is tons of parking available most nights of the week.

It's easy to get a seat at popular restaurants with little wait.

Stores are easy to navigate.

There's no line at the carousel...because it's not operating.

This is the state of affairs 10 days after a seemingly unhappy young man shattered the bubble that we Columbians inhabit. The belief that we lived in a friendly, happy utopia where most crime was petty theft and "didn't happen to us." We are the community of "Choose Civility." (One twit on Twitter claimed "Does a possible love triangle gone wrong do enough damage to the choose civility brand that HoCo officials feel denial is the right approach?" I won't link to that because I'm disgusted by his feed.)

But it did happen. It seems random, although we'd feel better if it was explainable. The randomness, though, should not make us stop living life.

I was struck by this because when I arrived at one of the mall restaurants, I had my choice of tables. The group of 20-somethings with the loud, obnoxious guy who knows something about everything and pontificates on it continually wasn't there for their usual happy hour. There were 2 bartenders when I arrived and 1 was cut by 6:30. There were 2 servers when I arrived and again, 1 was cut by 6:30. A large restaurant was operating with 1 bartender and 1 server and a manager. Because no one was coming in. The manager decided on which bartender to keep because his rent is due. She decided on which server to keep because her car payment is due. The manager has been making decisions like that for the last 9 days. Because no one is coming in.

And this is for folks who weren't there that day and didn't witness or experience the terror and fear - because that is going to take time.

Please - come to Columbia Mall. Have lunch at Panera, see a movie, visit the new Athleta store. Meet friends for happy hour at Champps. Play trivia at Uno's. SPEND MONEY - support college kids who are working their way through school, support single moms who have a second job, support people who are working HARD and may lose their jobs if the situation doesn't improve.

Please - come to the mall.

#HoCoBlogs

Twinges

As I laid awake earlier this morning, I debated whether to go down to the Mall in Columbia. I had viewed the site on Saturday as it was closed to the public while they evacuated hundreds of shoppers & workers from the mall. On this eerie, gray day, the buses they brought to shuttle people were unnervingly bright & cheery. Not what one associates with a seemingly random shooting at a busy mall.

On Saturday when the mall was closed, seemingly random things occurred to me. I need to deposit some checks at the bank there. I really need gloves because this damn polar vortex is returning. My husband had planned to work at his Columbia office both days this weekend and when he went into work on Sunday, I was a little nervous. He said he didn't notice much although when I went to drop something off at his car, the mall security questioned me. There were police cars in front of his building as it was the pick-up spot for items left in the common area. We'd usually pop into Uno for lunch or vulture for bar spots at Cheesecake Factory. I usually drive on the mall loop to come home (it also gives me a chance to get my annoyance fix by honking at drivers who stop at the sign that says "Incoming traffic has right-of-way").  The mall is part of my front yard so to speak as I've noted before.

Today, however, the mall reopened. There were ceremonies to commemorate the victims of this senseless, still unexplained tragedy. I went down there to check it out, but I didn't get out of my car. I deposited my check and returned home. I had a twinge of fear and of schadenfreude & I shouldn't/couldn't be there.

But for me, once I say something (or blog, I guess), it helps me to move on. Now that this catharsis is done, I'm going to visit my friends who work at the mall and support Columbia & Howard County.

Christmas Vacation Vegging

A friend’s Facebook posting yesterday made me feel guilty for what I’ve allowed my almost 10 year old to do a lot this vacation. Veg. Watch TV. 5 episodes of ANT Farm in a row in one morning. Headphones on watching Austin & Ally on her new iPod. We gave her the Disney Infinity Xbox game and my hubby & I played with her on that a little bit over the past few days. Oh, and Facetime with her oldest friend. (They gave each other tours of their houses…a little odd since they’ve been to each other’s house.)

But…

Ever since she was born, I’ve treated her as a person, not as a child. Meaning that people have different needs at different times. When she was an infant, we specifically messed with her schedule. The thing is, life doesn’t always happen as scheduled and learning how to adapt is important to my husband and me. Sometimes there's an accident closing down 95 and you have dinner an hour late. Stuff happens and the ability to adapt quickly to the situation is crucial. I also want her to say yes to opportunities that are outside her comfort zone. She has learned well and when confronted with a change of plans (whether from us or others), she acts just like my husband - a couple minutes to ruminate and she's on board. 

We started traveling with her at age 4 months - her first cruise on Royal Caribbean's Grandeur of the Seas out of Baltimore. (Don't tell my Papa Bill - he thinks we've only been on 1 cruise without him...) She loves to travel and adjusts quickly to new challenges. We see so many parents that lock themselves in their house once the baby is born...that's not us.

For one thing...

Luke & I worked a lot. He moreso than I, so the demands of his schedule made me step back from my career. Although I don’t do it anymore, I worked 60 hours/week many times in my career. Granted, I’m an accountant and it’s not like I was saving lives in an emergency room. But I did have to be “on” and when I got free time, I enjoyed it. I needed down time. I needed to watch TV and distract myself. But we definitely had a "Work Hard, Play Hard" philosophy. 

Lil has worked hard for the past few months. She performs with Ballet Mobile, a non-profit classic ballet troupe that visits retirement homes and rehab centers to lighten the residents’ hearts. She practices for many hours each week. At school, she tries to help out teachers and other students. Luckily, she completes her homework quickly. But she’s doing a lot of above-grade level work and there’s a lot of pressure at school and she places a lot of pressure on herself to perform well. 

And sometimes we contribute to that...So…

I want her to chill out. She had one performance during the break, but no practices/classes. (Although she dances everyday regardless of venue…) But I wanted her to play with her new Christmas gifts and enjoy the lack of schedule. She embraced vacation – few expectations of her, apart from putting her breakfast bowl in the dishwasher. She got her first pedicure. She did crafty stuff like her rainbow loom. But she did watch a LOT of TV & worked on her YouTube search abilities for Disney Tween content. She danced to the music on the TV, set up little forts on the floor and the best was her sweet giggles when she laughed.

Today was a little different. We were cleaning the house, putting away laundry, preparing dinner and we only played 2 games of Clue with her. She had wanted to finish the gingerbread house and play Apples to Apples with us. When I told her it was time to finish her Facetime chat, she responded, “It’s only because you haven’t been playing with me.”

Which means…

Christmas vacation is over! (But possibly to be followed by a snow day on Friday!)

Be vewy, vewy quiet, I'm hunting resolvers

The instructor of my gym class mentioned how the gym will be crowded in a few days. She said she wished we could wear pins that marked us as regular/active gym members. Ah, yes, it's time for New Year's Resolutions, an ancient tradition to Roman times. When we try to take back our self-control by swearing we'll eat better, exercise more, drink less and be nicer!

The "resolvers," as I refer to the gym members who realize they do in fact belong to a gym, will come in search of thinner thighs and toned abs on January 1 (after their hangover is almost over). They will attempt to lift the 250 lbs they could back in college (never mind that college was 20 years ago).  They'll stand in front of the Package Plan Plus room trying to punch random numbers to unlock the door. The treadmill "stop" buttons might get a few more uses as people realize they cannot run that fast anymore. People will hop on equipment they have no idea how to operate and will sit looking confused until they finally give up or brave asking one of us regulars concentrating on our Kindles. Staff will have to get out their boltcutters to remove locks left on for days on end on lockers. People will take showers without realizing there are no towels available in that area. Worst of all, the parking lot will be a mess. Which leads to my resolution - to be more patient. Because 80% of the American population gives up within two months - I can wait it out!