It's about the kids

Last week, I attended a panel discussion on women's issues hosted by the Howard County Commission on Women and the League of Women Voters. After the panel finished discussing their personal experiences and perspectives, we broke into smaller discussion groups. I participated in the Employment and the Government/Public Service groups.

Why am I thinking about that right now, you may ask.

Because my friend posted a picture of her son protesting in Baltimore City with her.

The two of us both have tweens that are only children. As such, they get dragged along to a lot of our community activities...Campaigning, political meetings, food banks and protests, etc.

On Saturday, we were talking about how we can increase female involvement in public service. One way, our group decided, is to say sometimes it's OK if kids attend these types of activities. I made Lil sit through a Planning Board meeting last fall about Inner Arbor because I needed to testify. Yes, she had some homework and electronics when she finished her book.

Civics is a very abstract thing for kids. But I try to demonstrate that I, an average citizen, have the right to speak, and that I, as a Stay-at-Home mom, have the ability to speak. Believe me, she gets bored sometimes, but in the car afterwards, she always has a takeaway. 

Today, she worked at a food bank in Sandtown with me and my friend. She saw a diverse group of people working for their city. Delegates, college kids, faith leaders, friends and strangers, just coming together to help a beleaguered community. My friend and I share the belief that kids can play a part in that.

Civic engagement can be learned at any age.

Choices for Breakfast

We had a really busy weekend. Lil had a performance at Heartlands in Ellicott City for Ballet Mobile at which she did her newly learned role of the Chinese dancer in the Nutcracker. For dinner, we attended Iron Bridge Wine Company's annual Charles Dickens' party with "A Christmas Carol" readings and Victorian-costumed a cappella singers.

Lil got to bed around 10, which isn't really a problem usually. But she was tired & she didn't set her alarm. I didn't realize she wasn't awake, so she didn't get up until 8:15. The bus comes at 8:50-8:55, so she didn't have much time. She didn't eat breakfast at home on Monday.

As my friend Tom wrote, Howard County lags behind in providing school breakfast to low-income students. More on that in a second.

My daughter is failure-to-thrive, meaning she fell off the growth charts at some point...I think she was 3 years old. At the time, it meant that we had to take her to the doctor for monthly weigh-ins, supplement her with Pediacare and overall, stress out about her weight. She's almost 11 now, but given the fact she dances 10-12 hours per week, gaining weight is nearly impossible. She's been tested for lead poisoning and other abnormalities, but nothing's shown a problem. Her endocrinologist is pretty conservative and doesn't see much wrong with her. A child who really is FTT has no energy, may be anemic and is not always intellectually developed. So her endocrinologist's advice - let her eat ANYTHING and EVERYTHING.

Breakfast is typically her best meal of the day. On weekends, she'll have several waffles or pancakes. On weekdays, cereal, sans milk (I know). Lunch & dinner might be smaller. So breakfast is the focus.

Back to Tom's post, there are several schools that provide breakfast to the entire school regardless of income level. Lil's school is one of those. There is no stigma and there is no hurry because the breakfast cart goes to the classroom. They have some cereals, fruit, milk and maybe yogurt, but she doesn't like anything on the cart.

When Lil told me she'd overslept, I said "Well, eat something you don't like from the breakfast cart." She replied "How can I eat something I don't like?"

That exchange stuck with me the whole day. I don't blame her for her choosiness and I'm not mad at her for eschewing "yucky" food. She should be grateful that she had an option though.

But what stuck with me was that she has the choice to say no to the breakfast cart almost every single day.

A lot of her classmates don't have that choice. If they say no to that breakfast cart everyday, they'll be hungry. And when you're hungry, it's a lot harder to be picky.

Dear Yelp Reviewer from a fellow diner

I believe we were the family that was planning our vacation to Europe recently that caused you to leave for “Chinese down the road.”

Yes, we had our iPads out & our guidebooks out. We were getting together with my parents & discussing what they’d like to do. And we were investigating side trips.

Have you never gone to a business lunch or dinner? When you discussed strategy for an acquisition? When you discussed goals for the year? Have you gone out for dinner or drinks with a friend who just became single? Or had a friend thinking about divorce after her hubby cheated on her? Or celebrated a promotion for a friend who worked so hard? Have you ever

sat next to a birthday party?

Vacation planning is not allowed? I’m sorry that we did not confine ourselves to the library to do so. (Actually I’m not sorry.) Instead, we met up at our favorite wine bar and the talk turned to our upcoming trip that is still open-ended. And yes, we’re so excited that we checked our phone/tablets to answer questions & plan our routes.

Maybe you should type up a list of topics that are acceptable to you and hand them out to your nearby seatmates.

But this begs the question – why were you caught up in our conversation? Could you not converse on topics you found interesting with your party?

From my recollection, though, you were upset to be sat at the common table and you hadn’t reserved in advance enough to get a regular table.

We were glad you left, because another party came. And they embraced the friendliness of the common table.