Filling the bucket

Two things happened yesterday that spotlighted something I try to avoid in my life...being known as a negative complaining person. I do complain about lots, like the ants in the shower at the gym, people on their cellphones in the bathroom, slow drivers, etc. When I complain to the people at the gym at the ants, I try to be neutral - "Hey, there are ants." Not "Hey there are ants and this place is disgusting and what the hell are you doing about it because there are ants!"

But I was talking to a friend about a mutual acquaintance that we were with recently. Apropos of nothing, she said "Wow, she is SO negative. She just complained the entire time we were together." I said, "Yes, I found it very draining." My friend said, "That's exactly the right word."

My daughter's school awards ceremony reminded me of that later on as one of the awards she got was the class Bucket Filler award. Quick lesson: positive actions and words fill a bucket while negative ones deplete a bucket. Her classmates voted her as this quarter's bucket filler.

When I spoke to her later, I asked her which award did she think was the most surprising or which made me proud, etc. She said the Bucket Filler award and I said I liked that one the best too.

I'm not a natural bucket filler. I often say or do things that don't even occur to me as being negative because I see them through my Kirstycat filter rather than through the rest-of-the-world filter. I don't go out of my way to invite people to do things as I assume I'll be rejected - I'm rather shy/unconfident in that perspective. People are often surprised to find out that I'm barely an Extrovert on the Myers-Briggs test.

My daughter has been filling my bucket at home too. Helping make dinner, making me laugh when I'm down and cleaning up cat hairballs. (VERY useful!) She is so much better socially than I was at her age (actually probably at any age).

(You know who is not a Bucket Filler? Derby cat. Because he is making it very difficult to type this post. When I try to push him off me, he grunts/growls at me. And then returns.)

My fortune cookie today was completely wrong - I am NOT quiet and unobtrusive. But hopefully I'm not loud, obtrusive AND constantly negative.

You know how you could be a bucket filler tomorrow? VOTE in the Columbia elections. (Of course, only if you live in Columbia.)  Meeting quorum in our villages is not easy even if there isn't a contested elections.

Middle School Muddles

Next year, my little person heads to Middle School. I dread it. Not because of the school, which has had a variety of incidents over the past couple of years (What middle/high school doesn't?). But because it's a jumping off point and it's not always a swan dive into that hormone/crazy/preteen pool, much less a clean swim to the ladder.

I personally liked one particular aspect of my parochial school life. I went to St. Martin's for 8 years - 1st grade to 8th grade. The only difference between 4th & 5th grade was that 5th grade girls started wearing a skirt instead of a jumper (pinafore for my British readers). Obviously, in the US, kids go to middle school/junior high in 7th or 8th grade, but hopefully you see my point of a transition to being a "big" kid.

When you became a 5th grader, more opportunities opened to you. We started electing someone to student council. I believe 7th graders were the vice-presidents and 8th graders were presidents. While this may be shocking to some readers, I was the Student Council President in my final year. I ran a campaign - I'm not sure which classmate I beat. (Which is pathetic: my class was only 25 or so people).

Here's what I DO remember: running for President, I had name recognition. The little kids looked up to me (the big kids probably had more reason to tease me, but...). That translates into responsibility. I wanted to present a positive picture of what 8th grade meant for those little kids. (Again, that is my peculiarity, there are/were plenty of upper school kids that did NOT feel that way.)

The opposite argument could be made for not allowing preteens/young teens to move on from the primary grades. That middle school offers maturation and better preparation for high school. Probably 75% of my high school came from an 8 year school though so that may have been irrelevant in my case.

Additionally, one could argue that being in an 8 year program could mean that your little siblings could tattle on you to your parents. You still had to see your annoying 10 year old sister at school assemblies or wonder if your 1st grade would report that you said "Damn" on the school bus. I was the baby (again, WHO knew that about me???) so I didn't have that problem. I had the opposite problem of all the teachers knowing my brothers, but everyone knew which brother I was more like...(sorry Brian!).

From Luke's perspective - he actually had that all 12 years of his hometown school. Blue Ridge School District is ONE campus with THREE schools. And from my view of the homepage right now, it is apparently snowing in New Milford, PA. We joke about his one-room schoolhouse, but that campus ain't that big. His public school graduating class was the same size as my private school class. (Funny coincidence - we were BOTH valedictorians! That's probably more of a reason to feel sorry for the Lilster. If you haven't met my lovely husband, think Rick Moranis from Parenthood.)

From the elementary standpoint, there is also the division of the primary (K-2) & elementary grades (3-5) in pedagogy. Why don't we divide them up? A 12 year old on the playground with a kindergartener exhibits a huge divide of physical, emotional & social growth. There are so many different ways of segregating kids by age throughout the world - I have no idea what the "right" way is or if there IS a right way.

Of course, I'm fine with Lil going to middle school. I am nervous about the infighting, the hormones, the monsters under the bed...But you  know what? I'd be lying to myself if I didn't state the obvious - it's already begun. Next year, it will just be in a larger, albeit overcrowded, building and she will have to find her way. Just like she does everyday of her life, without the anxiety I had all the time. She is a stronger, better, more socially adept person than I was/am. People say to me often about her & my fears of little things for her - "It's Lil. She'll be fine."

She will be & I will be.

Jumping Junebugs

The first or two weeks of June are my least favorite. Every year, there are too many things going on. Ballet recitals, school concerts, spring fairs & other wrap-up events are crammed into a space too small to fit. This year has thrown me another curveball, learning how to be, I mean being, Field Director for Tom Coale.

But I'm managing through it pretty well. I hit my head pretty severely Thursday morning, while I was testing the structural integrity of the soap holder in the bathtub. Good news - it's on there REALLY securely. Bad news - I have 6 stitches on the back of my head and a couple goose eggs around & thought I bruised my ribs.

When I was in college, I would make lists to keep organized & just think to myself in the shower, in two hours, that exam will be over. Knowing that time would pass helped me calm down & ease my anxiety over said upcoming trial. I did that a little this weekend. I could not wait until Saturday was over. With my head wound, I didn't do that much...Luke took Lil to the spring fair at school & helped out, he worked on installing a yard sign for the campaign (the best one yet methinks) & he cleaned up the kitchen. Although that's not completely true, I did do voter analysis & remembered how to use Excel. But I needed 9 PM to roll around.

We ate crappy Tex-Mex at my favorite crappy Tex-Mex place - On the Border - and worked on Washington Post Sunday crossword puzzles that have been piling up in my car. And I felt a lot of stress roll off my back. Sunday was a lazy day too, although I should remember I am accomplishing a lot even though I'm not at my full 100%. Some of what I'm accomplishing involves telling Luke what to do though...

Update on my fall: The pain in my side has decreased, so I went to the gym today despite Lil telling me last night, "I wouldn't advise going to the gym, Mama."  Right now, I'm a little woozy. I didn't eat much until 3:15, so I'm chalking it up to that a wee bit. While I was eating my leftover chili, however, I seemed to have a heat flash. An icepack from D'Artagnan Gourmet Meats is currently resting on my neck. No idea where it came from, but it is proving useful.

And today, a day where I've struggled to remember it's Monday, I found something amazing... He's not a replacement, but might fit the requirements for addressing our felines to people ratio.

Stand by, we'll be back with you in 14 hours...

The snow seemed neverending yesterday—big fluffy flakes. The plow truck got rid of the snow on our roads for a few minutes. But then it was covered again.

HCPSS Facebook post last night: Right now, we’re delaying schools by 2 hours. BUT we are waiting until 7:30 AM to tell you what we’ve REALLY decided.

Working mom & dad conversation on Monday night: What meetings do you have tomorrow? Can you cancel one? Uh, no, this is a really important meeting? Can you call in? Well, why can’t you call into yours? What if it’s a delay? Well, I can take her to before-care if it’s 1 hour late. Well, if it’s 2 hours, that’s going to be really tight to get to my client. Well, I guess your job is so much more important. But I don't have any vacation time left because this has been such a snowy winter. On-and-on, you can imagine it. I've worked for many bosses who didn't care about me having a kid. I'm lucky I don't have a boss anymore, but the stress still gets to me.

And then knowing it was going to be canceled, why not just say so?

While I was complaining at HCPSS’ lengthy delay to announce the closing, someone said they’re worried about making a mistake. I get that. We are out of snow days. But it was patently obvious from our drive around the Mall area last night that roads would not be ideal for walkers, buses, cars, tricycles, horse & buggy, etc. Maybe for skiers and Siberian husky driven sleds. When I drove on Twin Rivers Rd. at 11:15 AM to go to the Athletic Club on Harper’s Farm, it was in bad shape. Especially on bends in the road. It was slushy. When I returned home around 1 PM, it was much better. But that road provides access to a high school and a middle school. Not good, people.

The Board of Education needs to start planning for makeup days. In Virginia Beach, they decided to have a Saturday make-up day. Although people complained, 78% of kids showed up. I don't want the county to apply for a waiver from the 180 day requirement. That's cheating the kids and saying rules don't matter if you ask nicely. I want my daughter in school. And I want that school time to be productive, not half days where they sit down, get organized, get 20 minutes of instruction and then the bell rings to move to the next class. Learning takes time and a lot of kids don't reset as quickly as others. 

This is an election year for some of the Board members. There has been a lot of focus on them recently, in regard to teacher pay increases (lack thereof, actually) and potential changes to the instrumental music program. They need to have creative options for dealing with our missed days and furthermore, they must elicit community feedback. We're watching.
#HoCoblogs

Windows Update & other stuff

Another Sunday night, another feeling of the desire to withdraw from my latest MBA class. I'm doing my MBA online with UMUC. I have definitely learned management skills and critical thinking as well as discovering the wealth of information out there in online libraries. But I'm very angry this fall.

We received a note during the summer session that they were converting the program to four classes a year in order to allow students to complete their MBA in two years. My current marketing class is my first one compressed into 10 weeks versus 13 weeks. It is terrible. I am not learning much of anything this semester. I'm so overwhelmed by the workload. In one week, this is our list of tasks:

• Personal application - short discussion of the marketing topic this week as it relates to my organization
• Team project - complete the team work plan which involves team discussions
• Individual paper - 6-7 page paper on new product for Sara Lee
• Conference activity - participate in team discussions throughout the week

That was the SECOND week. I wrote a nasty note to the professor. How am I supposed to learn when there are these competing tasks?

And Windows Update picked this week to f*** my system. THIRTEEN updates one night made my desktop disappear. So, I have now been doing each update by itself. I am through four. And I have now experienced the BRONTAK.A virus. A Google search was not really that helpful.