Burberry

My daughter has finally grown out of her 2T Nautica coat - at the age of 4 1/2. If I bought gloves long enough, she could probably pull it off, right? Really, Washington winters aren't THAT cold....

So, trying to maximize my dollar during this economic downturn, I checked out offers through upromise.com. I can get money put into Lil's college savings account by using this link.

I have a couple requirements for Lil's coat - lined, hood & cute. There's a Burberry one for ummmm...$430 - ugh why can you not CAPITALIZE NUMBERS? I realize that I bought my Escada coat in Heathrow airport in 2003 when the exchange was 1 GBP = 1.5 USD. I bought that coat since I knew Luke couldn't make me return it.

But I wore that coat for FOUR years. Lil, despite her petiteness, will probably not wear a Burberry coat for 4 years. Oh, that's right, she won't - because I won't BUY her one.

Proposals

A few thoughts on this Thursday:

1) Why does the work week need to be 5 days? Two days to deal with the annoyances of the personal life is a little too light.

2) Golf - Why is it 18 holes? That is too long. Why can't it be 13?

3) Fire drills - This pretense that we're taught from early years - why do we pretend that a drill actually emulates real life? It clearly doesn't. If the fire alarm rang and it was NOT a drill, I have no idea what the F I would do. If you were actually confronted by the thought of death 30 floors up, what would you do? I DON'T KNOW. Flip out? Cry? Make a phone call to my husband & my mommy to say goodbye? Email my will to them? I DON'T KNOW. Yes, I have been under pressure before, but this level of life or death? No, I haven't. So, I don't know how useful the fire drill is. It clearly didn't come in handy for a lot of people in the World Trade Center on 9/11. According to friends of mine who worked on trading floors, they disregarded drills as unimportant.

4) Medicine that makes other things hurt, please end this - Side effects suck. I'm currently on Daypro for my foot. It's really tough on my stomach. I actually had worse cramps this morning than the contractions of Lily's labor.

5) Doctors who discount patients , start listening! - I get that the doctor wanted to go home that day. But I walked in there, with the assumption that I could schedule surgery that day. I've had bone spurs and neuromas (benign nerve tumors) on my foot off & on for the last 12 years. I have this weird feeling in my foot constantly when I put on socks or shoes - this numbness that will never be healed. I do not care that I will lose more feeling in my foot. You know why? Because my foot really fucking hurts. Let's see - no feeling in foot versus continual pain in foot...wow, that's tough. Oh, let's add stomach destroying pain reliever to continual pain in foot - silly me, of course that's better than surgery! Umm, no. Since my old doctor has retired, I had found another practice here in Howard County. In 2005, that doctor gave me a cortisone shot & said, if you're willing to have surgery, that's probably what you should do, given that you understand the nerve loss. I left the office, thinking, right after I have the next kid, I'll have the foot surgery. But then came the breast cancer scare. And then came, uhh, no kid. So, I went to the practice and that cool doctor is gone. Now, a new doctor who wanted to leave asap. So, after the cruise, returning to the doctor and saying - surprisingly, that crap DIDN'T work. Shocking.

6) A new break from the Republican party for people like me - socially liberal, fiscally conservative. I'm against welfare, entitlements, farm subsidies, earmarks, et cetera. Although certain things don't exactly make me jump up & down for joy, I don't feel that I have the right to judge others. Although if you're stupid, I still reserve the right to judge & mock. While I'm very judgmental when I first meet people, I rarely let the first impression rule my actions. Preconceived notions bug me more than they used to. So, I voted for Obama - I actually let my social side overrule my pocketbook. I don't like the constant judging going on right now.

Windows Update & other stuff

Another Sunday night, another feeling of the desire to withdraw from my latest MBA class. I'm doing my MBA online with UMUC. I have definitely learned management skills and critical thinking as well as discovering the wealth of information out there in online libraries. But I'm very angry this fall.

We received a note during the summer session that they were converting the program to four classes a year in order to allow students to complete their MBA in two years. My current marketing class is my first one compressed into 10 weeks versus 13 weeks. It is terrible. I am not learning much of anything this semester. I'm so overwhelmed by the workload. In one week, this is our list of tasks:

• Personal application - short discussion of the marketing topic this week as it relates to my organization
• Team project - complete the team work plan which involves team discussions
• Individual paper - 6-7 page paper on new product for Sara Lee
• Conference activity - participate in team discussions throughout the week

That was the SECOND week. I wrote a nasty note to the professor. How am I supposed to learn when there are these competing tasks?

And Windows Update picked this week to f*** my system. THIRTEEN updates one night made my desktop disappear. So, I have now been doing each update by itself. I am through four. And I have now experienced the BRONTAK.A virus. A Google search was not really that helpful.

Sunday night...

We're watching another Mad Men episode...what a great show. We're an episode behind, which is very frustrating. In my US Weekly, the finale is supposedly tonight. Please, don't talk about it to me tomorrow. Right now, Don & Pete are in LA and Roger is discussing alimony payments with his attorney.

I used to hate Sundays - in college, that's when my depression would overwhelm me. It felt like a lack of activity and the inertia would lock in. I'm better now on Sundays - I enjoy them. Quieting down for a few minutes and getting mentally ready for the coming week. But I need to sign off & read a book. Get away from the computer, you know?

Legacies

My uncle David was a wonderful, kind, giving, intelligent man. I spent many summers reading books on his houseboat in Pt. Pleasant, NJ, pretending I was a beautiful young girl meeting a handsome boy at the beach.

David died a few weeks ago - not unexpectedly, but regrettably. He always cared about people - remembered, knew, understood. I always took a rebuke seriously from him because I respected him and I knew that his judgment wasn't a personal dislike of something. It was, rather, a reminder of humility. He never displayed any arrogance & disliked that in others.

He also took time - he didn't rush things although he wasn't tardy, but he set aside time to discover. When I took Luke up to the houseboat for a weekend, we sat at the galley table for a while discussing things. And when I spent a few days up there after college, I remember talking about financial responsibility at that table. I may have felt like I wanted to rush away under that gentle, yet demanding gaze, because he was a good man and I felt sad that I might disappoint him.

Something nice happened tonight and I was talking to my mom. Since Lily is with my mom, she didn't want to be overly emotional about the discussion about David. So, she said Look at Mr. Moon. What she means is - Uncle David is still with us, loves us & shines brightly.

Commutes

Why do we so often hurry up, wait and then hurry up again? I blame it on our commutes.

Some context - my mom worked in Landover back in the day and it took her 45 minutes to get home to Gaithersburg. When there was a tractor trailer accident (which there was every month), it would take an hour and a half.

The only way it takes 45 minutes to get to Landover from G'burg now is on Sunday night at 10 PM. To go 5 miles in Columbia, I need to make sure I have 15 minutes - going from our place west of 29 to near 95. Traffic is so painful.

I recently thought of looking at a job in Wilmington. If I did that, I'd probably take the train from BWI to Wilmington. I have been in the train when there's been slow traffic ahead, so I won't pretend there aren't problems. But one of the positives I pondered was the idea that I could sit on the train for an hour and be productive. I could do homework, I could read a book, I could blog or I could get a coffee from the cafe. All of these things sound better than sitting in traffic on 395. I do listen to lots of audiobooks - audible.com is a lovely thing - so I do try to relax in my car. But driving is wearing on me (and my silly little stupid right foot) and I just wish...

School

I am confused as to why I started to work on my MBA. My husband is working toward partner at his firm, which takes some hours, and I have been the one with the more flexible job who can pick up Lil when necessary. I had been OK with that bfor a while. But I missed the challenges of work where I was constantly engaged & learning. So, I embarked on the path of the MBA.

Now, of course, I'm doing it online. But don't kid yourself if you're thinking about it - it's tough. Six credits a class - originally 13 weeks, now 10 - it is jampacked with activity. And I don't mean busy work. No, it's intellectual discussion in conference blogs, referencing additional research, team projects and research papers. And before you can do that, there is usually 100 pages of reading to do before being able to contribute in a meaningful way.

I realize that I chose this path. And for it to mean something & have value, it has to involve a great deal of effort. I also want Lil to see me working on something - Daddy works a lot and I want her to know that even though I'm not at work, I'm developing myself. She knows I work and I go to school. She tells people that I have homework. My battle sometimes is making sure I portray school as a positive, exciting endeavor. Learning does add to my life, it is just difficult to balance sometimes.

Girls' Night!

Having a girl, you realize they love their dad. I don't really get that, but realize the predominance of that fact. Whenever Luke is not around, Lily fusses - I want Daddy, when will Daddy be home, et cetera...That streak was recently broken. No fussing, periodic hugs & kisses, smiles...Absolutely shocking...who took my Lily away? Is she whining for you?

Fantasy football

For the first time I'm actually doing this. It causes a little stress - I'm not quite as vigilant as I should be.

Anybody else?

Flickr

This is a test post from , a fancy photo sharing thing.

McDonald's visit

I took Lulu to McDonald's tonight for a quick McNugget fix. Before going, I asked her if she wanted 4 or 6. Evidently, she was hungry so she asked for 6. However, I didn't want to get her a happy meal since a) she doesn't need a toy, b) she hasn't been eating the fries lately & 3) we were headed home so I wasn't getting her milk that she'd only drink a tablespoon of before geting home.

Thus, I was planning to get a 6 piece McNugget...until he said the total was $2.39. Periodically, my CPA experience comes in handy. Let's see...4 piece on the Dollar Menu costs, uh, well, a dollar. With Maryland's happy little sales tax increase to 6% this year, that makes $1.06. So, if I order two 4 piece McNuggets, I think that totals $2.12. Why would I pay $2.39 for 6 nuggets when I can get 8? Really? Are most people who go to McDonald's that stupid? I'm guessing....

Started watching Daily Show

So, most of my friends know that I love Stephen Colbert. I love his witticisms - "If I had a quarter for everytime I said I had a nickel, I'd have FIVE times as much theoretical money."

But I started watching Jon Stewart the other day. Always liked him, less crazy than Bill Maher & less angry...although Jon's pretty angry. But he had a great interview with Tony Blair the other day. Jon had a question about politicians and their lack of identification with religion. It seems so important in the US, which is so ironic given the Establishment clause in the Bill of Rights. See, I always appreciate the British - Blair had a great statistic on the religousness of the US versus the UK and then Pakistan. The UK is totally more reserved about it (35%) while the US is about 65% into religion while Pakistan is 95%.

I appreciated Jon's ability to actually listen to Blair - it wasn't completely about being funny. He actually wanted to know the answers.

New TV season!

Doesn't the start of a new TV season always bring along the excitement that a new show might entertain us differently than last year's standbys?

Tonight, we're starting with Fringe. What will it bring?

So far, cool camera angles.

But the start of it with the jet worries me - is it Lost set in New England? Maybe "Loston"?

MTV VMAs

Technology is a great thing, right? Well, one of the worst uses is lip syncing. I was actually looking forward to Christina Aguilera's new song - she has a great voice. She's pretty versatile and I like a bunch of her songs. But this was ruined when it became SO obvious she was lip-syncing.

Having been trained in the vocal arts for several years, I'm fully aware of the breath control aspect of singing. And I've had this discussion before.

A good singer can do this - running around on the stage, dancing, interacting, etc. Steven Tyler of Aerosmith is a great example. Mariah Carey on the other hand - a lot of her singing is studio crafted. Under the perfect conditions, she has a beautiful voice. But it is weak & it will falter.

As I finish this, Britney Spears is accepting her award for best pop video. Yes, it's a video, there's no talent behind it, except the creative director & the producer and perhaps the songwriter. None of whom are....Britney Spears.

Wow, wearing $300,000

Cindy McCain was wearing a ton o'money during the RNC. As a chick, I am conflicted about this. I do spend some money on seemingly silly things. And I feel like spending some of this money does impact other parts of the economy. For instance, my purses are made in China. So, the demand for these has pushed a new economy into China. My hope is that as these societies become more industrialized they will be able to demand better conditions given the countries that rely so heavily on them.

Sad tonight

So, I'm a Republican in terms of fiscal concerns - the last few years with the "war on terrorism" not being cool. I call myself a liberal Republican.

Wow, I don't like Donna Brazile. They liked her speech because it was the same as the last few years - substance over style. But what has Barack Obama done? He went to law school. Yes. He was a community organizer. Yes. Any major accomplishments as a community organizer? Not that I've heard. Writing a couple of memoirs before 50? Yes, that's audaciously hopeful. I didn't hear Obama talk to that single mom, though. But this is my problem - single moms without healthcare are not best addressed at the federal level of a 300 million person country. These are local problems.

I like listening to him - he's an intelligent, thoughtful man. Don't know where that gets our country, though.

Now, McCain - I've supported him since 2000. He & Michael Steele are the only candidates I've ever donated to. I appreciated McCain's independence from the Republicans. I dislike the two party system we've been into since the 1800s. His choice of Palin has changed that.

And now that I have a forum - I need to correct something: the Republicans are the descendants of the Jeffersonian Democrats. Jefferson was afraid of any power being given to the federal government hence the Bill of Rights. The Federalists wanted to centralize the power at the federal level - i.e. eliminating the states' self-governance. This is not a judgment or attack against either way but people need to research their history. Jefferson = Republicans - he didn't want the federal government to interfere in local issues. Jefferson wanted states' rights - he was from the South, people!

And Roland Martin - community organizers are usually found in the large cities. What about the small towns that are suffering from plant closures, etc? Who helps them? So, I'm ok with Palin mocking his experience there. I'm still wondering what he actually did there.

Where did summer go?

Has anybody else noticed that summer's over? Amazing that the sun is setting around 8 PM.

I am so sad that I didn't do all the stuff I wanted to do this summer. I wanted to go to the pool a lot. I wanted to go to Centennial Park for their sunset serenade concerts. But I did go to Hershey Park and had a fantastic time with Lulu & Luke & our friends.

We had lots of dinners together & spent many hours keeping our kids from fighting too much. We'll continue to do that this fall...

And we have lots planned for the fall - New York in September is beautiful. I'm so excited to go the Little Mermaid! We're also headed to Great Wolf Lodge. Hopefully, we'll remember our camera to keep our memories.

Umm, hello...

Not exactly sure what I'm doing here...

In reading a couple of my friends' blogs, I've realized that I do want to start "taking notes" on my life. There are so many thoughts that occur to me and I probably should share them in the vein of catharsis.

So, me - I'm currently working for a large asset manager in Baltimore and working on my MBA at Maryland. Doing the online thing because I have a beautiful 4 year old daughter & a husband working toward partner at a CPA firm. I thought online would be somewhat easy, but it's really hard. Self-discipline is required and working with people through electronic communication is difficult. There's a lot of work - I'm glad though, because if there wasn't, I would feel cheapened.

My favorite thing to do is sleep. Although actually, my other favorite thing is hanging out at Iron Bridge Wine Co. To paraphrase the bumper sticker, my money & my daughter go to Iron Bridge. She's getting an education, right? Learning the right glass for Shiraz is important!

Luke & I love traveling - especially cruising on Royal Caribbean. We meet such wonderful people (mostly crew) and enjoy the freedom of cruise ships. I am a firm believer in the element of water as part of our lives...rocking & rolling on the high seas makes me so happy! Sharing it with friends & family is great too - Mom & Papa Bill join us often & share in the relaxation.

So, I'm 32 - 11 days away from being 33. I'm not doing well with growing older...I don't like the way my body's changing, I don't like that I don't have 2 children, I don't like dealing with the deaths of friends & family. I'm also having a little bit of trouble with the realization that my daughter, my pretty Lulu, is not really mine anymore. She is a social being, building her own relationships beyond me & Luke. I try to gather her in my arms when I can - she says, Mommy, why do you always want to hug me?

It's also because I want to show her my love. I'm not good at it - I am so selfish & I don't fully involve myself in her. Those moments when she says I want Daddy hurt so deeply. Those moments when she refuses to let me go when I drop her off at school break my heart in that sweet wonderful way that I cannot leave her. And there is something in my competitive brain that knows that only I can get that full belly laugh from her when we're being silly. So it's OK...