Windows Update & other stuff

Another Sunday night, another feeling of the desire to withdraw from my latest MBA class. I'm doing my MBA online with UMUC. I have definitely learned management skills and critical thinking as well as discovering the wealth of information out there in online libraries. But I'm very angry this fall.

We received a note during the summer session that they were converting the program to four classes a year in order to allow students to complete their MBA in two years. My current marketing class is my first one compressed into 10 weeks versus 13 weeks. It is terrible. I am not learning much of anything this semester. I'm so overwhelmed by the workload. In one week, this is our list of tasks:

• Personal application - short discussion of the marketing topic this week as it relates to my organization
• Team project - complete the team work plan which involves team discussions
• Individual paper - 6-7 page paper on new product for Sara Lee
• Conference activity - participate in team discussions throughout the week

That was the SECOND week. I wrote a nasty note to the professor. How am I supposed to learn when there are these competing tasks?

And Windows Update picked this week to f*** my system. THIRTEEN updates one night made my desktop disappear. So, I have now been doing each update by itself. I am through four. And I have now experienced the BRONTAK.A virus. A Google search was not really that helpful.

Sunday night...

We're watching another Mad Men episode...what a great show. We're an episode behind, which is very frustrating. In my US Weekly, the finale is supposedly tonight. Please, don't talk about it to me tomorrow. Right now, Don & Pete are in LA and Roger is discussing alimony payments with his attorney.

I used to hate Sundays - in college, that's when my depression would overwhelm me. It felt like a lack of activity and the inertia would lock in. I'm better now on Sundays - I enjoy them. Quieting down for a few minutes and getting mentally ready for the coming week. But I need to sign off & read a book. Get away from the computer, you know?

Legacies

My uncle David was a wonderful, kind, giving, intelligent man. I spent many summers reading books on his houseboat in Pt. Pleasant, NJ, pretending I was a beautiful young girl meeting a handsome boy at the beach.

David died a few weeks ago - not unexpectedly, but regrettably. He always cared about people - remembered, knew, understood. I always took a rebuke seriously from him because I respected him and I knew that his judgment wasn't a personal dislike of something. It was, rather, a reminder of humility. He never displayed any arrogance & disliked that in others.

He also took time - he didn't rush things although he wasn't tardy, but he set aside time to discover. When I took Luke up to the houseboat for a weekend, we sat at the galley table for a while discussing things. And when I spent a few days up there after college, I remember talking about financial responsibility at that table. I may have felt like I wanted to rush away under that gentle, yet demanding gaze, because he was a good man and I felt sad that I might disappoint him.

Something nice happened tonight and I was talking to my mom. Since Lily is with my mom, she didn't want to be overly emotional about the discussion about David. So, she said Look at Mr. Moon. What she means is - Uncle David is still with us, loves us & shines brightly.

Commutes

Why do we so often hurry up, wait and then hurry up again? I blame it on our commutes.

Some context - my mom worked in Landover back in the day and it took her 45 minutes to get home to Gaithersburg. When there was a tractor trailer accident (which there was every month), it would take an hour and a half.

The only way it takes 45 minutes to get to Landover from G'burg now is on Sunday night at 10 PM. To go 5 miles in Columbia, I need to make sure I have 15 minutes - going from our place west of 29 to near 95. Traffic is so painful.

I recently thought of looking at a job in Wilmington. If I did that, I'd probably take the train from BWI to Wilmington. I have been in the train when there's been slow traffic ahead, so I won't pretend there aren't problems. But one of the positives I pondered was the idea that I could sit on the train for an hour and be productive. I could do homework, I could read a book, I could blog or I could get a coffee from the cafe. All of these things sound better than sitting in traffic on 395. I do listen to lots of audiobooks - audible.com is a lovely thing - so I do try to relax in my car. But driving is wearing on me (and my silly little stupid right foot) and I just wish...

School

I am confused as to why I started to work on my MBA. My husband is working toward partner at his firm, which takes some hours, and I have been the one with the more flexible job who can pick up Lil when necessary. I had been OK with that bfor a while. But I missed the challenges of work where I was constantly engaged & learning. So, I embarked on the path of the MBA.

Now, of course, I'm doing it online. But don't kid yourself if you're thinking about it - it's tough. Six credits a class - originally 13 weeks, now 10 - it is jampacked with activity. And I don't mean busy work. No, it's intellectual discussion in conference blogs, referencing additional research, team projects and research papers. And before you can do that, there is usually 100 pages of reading to do before being able to contribute in a meaningful way.

I realize that I chose this path. And for it to mean something & have value, it has to involve a great deal of effort. I also want Lil to see me working on something - Daddy works a lot and I want her to know that even though I'm not at work, I'm developing myself. She knows I work and I go to school. She tells people that I have homework. My battle sometimes is making sure I portray school as a positive, exciting endeavor. Learning does add to my life, it is just difficult to balance sometimes.

Girls' Night!

Having a girl, you realize they love their dad. I don't really get that, but realize the predominance of that fact. Whenever Luke is not around, Lily fusses - I want Daddy, when will Daddy be home, et cetera...That streak was recently broken. No fussing, periodic hugs & kisses, smiles...Absolutely shocking...who took my Lily away? Is she whining for you?

Fantasy football

For the first time I'm actually doing this. It causes a little stress - I'm not quite as vigilant as I should be.

Anybody else?